Kabal Vision – Thursday Night Blood Bowl Game

 I’ll pass you over to Monique and Jean-Luke. M; (In a sexy Accent) Bonjour Every one. ‘Ere we arre at the “Stadiom Verranda de la Piscine”, in the Dordogne, for what is going to be a very interesting game of extreme sports! 20,000 ‘umans and Elves and Frenchees ‘ave packed een to see “Carving through” and “Swynnedon Tigers” fight eet out today. Jean Luke… J-L; (Gauloise hanging from the corner of his mouth) ‘Ello. Oui it should be interesting watching 2 teams of sweaty women play with a ball and knock each other ovver! And eet is a very Sunny today that could make it deeficult for zem! Nes pas?

M; Oui are all looking forward to the game. the teems are on the pitch and the crowd are goin’ wild, Ooh they are running on the pitch and knocking over the players!

J-L; Should zat be ‘appening?

M; No zat should not be ‘appening. Ze stewards are herding them off.

J-L; Zer are 3 elves down including the Wardancer wiv ze cute bum.

M; Oui and 2 Amazons, they all look very Dazed! Joot alore zey ‘ave started ze game before zey have recovered!

J-L; Ze Amazons ‘ave kicked ze ball and zen repulsed the elven attack on them knocking even more elves down.

M; Zey ‘ave taken advantage of the Wardancer being down and charged forward knocking down loads of elves and there goes one of them off to ze dug out!

J-L; Oui and another one both vith little birdies flying round zer heads.

M; Zer goes Lucy for the Tigers for a Magnifique touchdown and it’s only half way through the first half!

J-L; this going to be a interestin’ game I tink!

M; Oui!

J-L; Hot Croissants zey are restarting but there are only 10 players on the feeld for the Elves!

M; Oui… Lyn and Lynette for the Elves are still receeving treetment for the bashes on zee bonce.

J-L; These Amazons are very violent they’ve got a big cheer from their crowd.

M; Mes oui! zey ‘ave knocked over 5 elves won of wheech ‘as been taken to zee dug out and now Cleo ‘as shown a bit of “Va va voom” and dashed down to the end line and scored!

J-L; Amazing stuff 2-0 and only 3/4 of the way through the first half!

M; they are setting up for the kick off the Elf fans are reely cheering thier teem on now.

J-L; The wardancer, Wendy and a catcher, Carina ‘ave jumped the Amazon line bit of a stumble but nothing serious. But zee Amazons stop them getting the ball.

M; there’s the ‘Alf time whistle and it’s 2-0. Time for a Brandy and a stiff one!!!

J-L; Bon I shall be right overr!

M; That was a good break, for the teems I mean!

J-L; Oui the Elves ‘ave reelly picked up or been given a reel good tongue lashing from the Coach!

M; You can’t beet a good tongue lashing to get a female teem going. They,ve set up nicely,kicked zee ball… but look at that the Wood Elves ‘ave repositioned them selves just before the ball lands!

J-L; Zat must ‘ave been some talking too zey recieved at ‘alf time!

M; Zee Amazon thrower Tammy ‘as ze ball and the others ‘ave knocke a hole in the Elven defence,

J-L; Down goes the Wardancer again, and Cleo Zooms through. with plenty of defenders with ‘er.

M; Tammy throws ze ball to Cleo who crosses ze line and scores!

J-L; 3-0 and inside ‘alf of the second ‘alf!

M; We are setting up for the next kick, and the clouds ‘ave built up covering the sun.

J-L; Zere eet goes, up and over zee ‘eads of zee elves, Tracey the thrower picks up zee ball, The wardancer, Wendy and a catcher, Carina ‘ave jumped the Amazon line again and dash down field. Tammy and Cindy fall back for the Amazons to cover them.

M; Zat ees nothing, the ball carrier ‘as been pushed back towards the Elven line and ‘as been dropped!

J-L; Leslie for the Amazons picks up ze ball and runs down towards ze line, oh she ‘as been pushed up against ze side line and is right next to ze touchline. 3 elves surround ‘er and another 2 Amazons run down to give support. She tries to step over the line but falls dropping the ball behind ‘er!

M; She ‘as ‘urt ‘er self, Louise ze line Elf ‘as picked up ze ball and ‘as run eet to ze ‘alf way line.

J-L; We took our eyes off the wardancer catcher and amazons for a while but zey’ve been ‘aving a bit of a tussle down zere, zee elven catcher ees down meaning zee wardancer ees out numbered. But zat ‘asn’t stopped ‘er catching zee ball and running it in for a touchdown!

M; Zat was a lovely bit of defencive work and a nicely worked touchdown full marks for zat one!

J-L; Oui but full marks will only give zem 1 goal to make eet 3-1 wiv only seconds left of zis ‘alf.

M; Zere goes the kick off again way back into ze Amazons half they send back both throwers but neither tries to pick up zee ball!??

J-L; Zey are too busy beating up ze elves on ze front line 3 knocked over and 1 knocked out! Wow painful.

M; not surprisingly ze elves ‘ave backed off and there goes ze whistle for the end of the match.

Jean-Luke; Joot Alore zat was eencredible I almost forgot to light my fourth seegaret!

Monique; Zat ees a magneefeecant game, lots of blood sweat and touch downs. Let’s ‘ope we get eet on Kabal Vision over ‘ere soon!

J-L; Zee pay out for zee teams seems a leetle unusual as zee winnig team only got $20,000 but zee loosing teem got $40,000! What was zat about? (Gallic shrug!)

M; Je ne say pas Jean-Luke. Oh we ‘ave a medical report on Leslie from the Swynnedon Tigers, she ‘as broken ‘er collar bone and zis will affect ‘er strength I theenk!

J-L; Oui but we must sign off now so eet is aurevoir from me.

M; And it ees Aurevoir from me also.(wink)

The elves got 2 upgrades and the amazons got 3.