Blood Bowl Match Report: The Orko Klots vs the SAD Warpstone Stars

The Orko Klots (Orcs) vs the SAD Warpstone Stars (Skaven)

The weather was fine for this clash of two new teams to the SAD League.  The Orko Klots’ coach, Orktimus Grime, had cobbled together a quite literally green team to… well, basically cause carnage.  Being skaven, the Stars were much sneakier than their opponents, and had brought along the majority of their clan to spectate during the game, giving them the FAME advantage, and an extra reroll from the kick off as a result.

The orcs won the toss, and elected to receive first.  Their Thrower, Fumblebee, picked up the ball, and with Orktimus Grime shouting out which play to use, waited for the cage to form around him.  However, his team-mates couldn’t understand the instructions from the sidelines, and the blank faced wandering and shrugged shoulders of the other Klots led to the skaven Blitzer, Plague, diving through the ramshackle defence and sacking the ball carrier so hard that he was out for the rest of the game.

The ball bounced into the crowd, and the increased support for the skaven paid off, with the ball being thrown directly towards the orcs’ line.  Gutter Runner Eshins Paw dodged through the dim green line to scoop up the ball and run in for the touchdown.

The Stars restarted the match kicking again to the Klots.  With Fumblebee off the field, the rest of the team looked at each other in bewilderment; the orc Thrower had been the only one to touch the ball in their practise sessions, and no one else seemed willing to want to attempt it.  Eventually Rarr-Scream, the orc Blitzer, decided he should take control, and wandered over to pick up the ball, and his team mates managed to pile in around him, although definitely not in text book fashion.

The orcs then began a slow grinding drive towards the skaven line.  Lineorc Brawn badly hurt Eshins Paw in revenge for scoring, and Ravage the black orc did the same to Rictus, a skaven lineman.  Eventually, with the field and dug out littered with groaning and disorientated skaven, Rarr-Scream walked over the line to level the scores.

There was one skaven turn left before the end of the half, and although a few dazed ratmen returned to the field, Surepaw the Thrower failed to live up to his name, failing to make a completed pass to gain from the single turn.

A half-time argument between the two coaches and the ref about strange tunnels appearing into the orcs’ dugout was ended by the serious injury of the match official.  His replacement appeared a little jumpy when it was time to restart; both coaches realising they could get away with more fouls as a result of his skittish demeanour.

The orcs kicked to the skaven; a wayward slice meant it only just crossed the halfway line, and went straight into the hands of Skitterleap, another Gutter Runner.  Grinning with glee at the poor orc kick, Skitterleap headed off towards the line, his team clearing the way for him.  However, the Klots struck back, and dispossessed him of the ball.  Ravage again took out a linerat, this time called Sneek.  It looked for a minute that he would be the game’s first confirmed kill, but a lump of warpstone  crudely hammered into the skaven’s chest reanimated him, and meant he would be ready for the next drive.  Unable to pick up the ball, the orcs nonetheless tried to protect it by surrounding it as much as they could.

 Unhappy at being knocked down, Skitterleap saw the gap, and dived into the mock cage; he picked up the ball, and just lobbed it downfield.  The Klots regrouped and managed to pick up the ball, but were again able to complete their cage, black orc Grumble falling down on a failed Go-For-It, and leaving the ball exposed.

The third Gutter Runner, Shadowstalker, saw his opportunity.  Once the other Stars took out the orc carrying the ball, he scooped up the ball in his paws, and ran in for the touchdown that took the skaven into the lead.

The next kick sailed deep into the orc half, and the Klots lived up to their name, being unable to forge ahead, and being pushed farther and farther back.  The skaven had an opportunity to score again after once more regaining possession, but Skitterleap fumbled his throw.  Linerat Sneek also took black orc Frenzy out of the game, but stunned himself in the process.

The orcs created their best cage of the game right on their own touchline, but did not have enough time to score an equaliser, and had to settle for shutting out any further scores from the skaven.  They got the last word when orc Blitzer Blunder-Cracker badly hurt one of the gutter runners, although he wouldn’t get any SPPs for doing so.

So the SAD Warpstone Stars began their campaign with a victory, whilst Orktimus Grime was heard muttering that he might have to hire a dodgy Goblin or two to counteract the inherent sneakiness of the skaven (although, I’m obviously paraphrasing there!).

Pitchside Reporter: Brychan


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